" The lonely become either thoughtful or empty. "
- Mason Cooley
When we meet someone for the first time, we rely on first impressions to assess their personality and oftentimes, the results vary from good to awkward to just plain dry wit. I think the most basic types of people are the glass half-full or the glass half-empty. Some can be a ray of sunshine when they walk inside a room while some bring the gloomiest vibes fit for the darkest of humors. The rays of sunshine are already a breeze to get along with. Hence, I'd rather focus on the half-empties.
So. how do you deal with the half-empties?
The trick is to find out if they want inclusion or space. Based on my experience, there are two things you can do about them. Either try and include them carefully and sensitively in activities and events fit for them, or, simply allow them the space and silence to recharge alone, then come back for them once you feel they're a full tank. It makes all the difference when the right kind of love language is used.
Take me, for example. I prefer to be left alone sometimes when the vibes are no longer conducive and healthy. I retreat to my own corner with books, music, cooking and inventing recipes, or would immerse myself in British culture because unknown to many, I've had a fetish for the Brits since childhood. I've wished to be English after watching The Parent Trap (starring Lindsay Lohan) and crazily imagined what it would be like if I had the life of Annie Parker in the movie (not the musical). I love the country, the culture, the food, the Grant, the Potter, the Rowling, the Little Mix, the Nigella, the Sherlock, the Cumberbatch, and that bloody accent of theirs. This is a dangerous hole to dive in with me so let's move on.
There are, however, the exceptions to the rule. Meaning, leaving them alone drives them nuts. They thrive off on gaining everyone's attention constantly. Having the crowd follow their every whim gives them satisfaction and, I guess, assurance. Personally, those are the kind that drains the bejesus out of me so I tend to stay away from them to protect my zen but what else can you do if you happen to be surrounded by them, right? Well, prayer helps a lot that the heavens may grant you patience as long as the Nile and as bountiful as a full on Thanksgiving dinner on steroids. It also takes a great deal of maturity to understand and handle difficult half-empties. Tough love can be painful to give but if required, you've got to stand your ground even if it means standing alone. Being understanding and giving chances is one thing. Condoning abusive and manipulative behaviour is another.
There are, however, the exceptions to the rule. Meaning, leaving them alone drives them nuts. They thrive off on gaining everyone's attention constantly. Having the crowd follow their every whim gives them satisfaction and, I guess, assurance. Personally, those are the kind that drains the bejesus out of me so I tend to stay away from them to protect my zen but what else can you do if you happen to be surrounded by them, right? Well, prayer helps a lot that the heavens may grant you patience as long as the Nile and as bountiful as a full on Thanksgiving dinner on steroids. It also takes a great deal of maturity to understand and handle difficult half-empties. Tough love can be painful to give but if required, you've got to stand your ground even if it means standing alone. Being understanding and giving chances is one thing. Condoning abusive and manipulative behaviour is another.
I remember how eaten up I used to be with all the half-empties I've encountered. I used to worry so much and get immensely affected by words that shouldn't even have scratched my surface. With time and age, and lots of beer, I've learned to manage my expectations of people so what used to tear up my heart to bits merely poke me now. Insults, however said or done, are nothing but noise. They're junk mail that should be sent straight to trash once you see it. They're just virus that get past your firewall every once in a while. They're those annoying pop-up ads that deserve to be blocked. Don't bother feeding the trolls. Don't give them power over your thoughts, your peace, or your heart. No one is allowed that role except for the ones that make you believe in rainbows and the ones who know how to appreciate a good cup of joe. They're the best kind. xx
